Before picking up Loved One, I knew it was a sad book, so I didn't know what to expect. At one point I even thought maybe I shouldn't read it, but I'm glad I did.

Grief isn't new to me. I've lost loved ones, and it's quite hard, to be honest, so I could understand that feeling to some extent. But I've never lost someone I was in love with, only family. That's why it was nice to see grief from different perspectives: his first love, his mother, and his ex-girlfriend slash baby mama.

I really liked Julia. She was an independent woman, which was nice to see. The first-love storyline was sweet until it wasn't. I loved that they stayed friends and found their way back to each other. Gabe loved Julia, and you can see he wanted to get back with her because his feelings were true. Even after dating so many people, he still wanted his first love. But life happened: his ex-girlfriend, Elizabeth, was pregnant, and she wanted to keep the baby.

Honestly, I don't know how to make sense of dynamics like this. You like someone, you have a relationship, maybe you fall in love, and then you're no longer in love. Then that relationship produces a child, and one person decides, "I'm getting older, I've always wanted a child, and I'm keeping this baby whether you're here or not." Keeping the baby puts an obligation on the man. Even if he doesn't like you, he wants to be there. He might even say, "Let's get married, I don't want a child outside of marriage." And I don't know of a single solid, sweet partnership that came from marrying just because of an unplanned baby.

But that news made Gabe give up the person he actually wanted to be with. He had to give Julia up and follow through: "It's not that I want a child now, but if I'm going to have one, I want to be present." He didn't want to be like his dad, because his own relationship with his father wasn't good, and he wanted something better with his child. Then, unfortunately, he died, completely unplanned.

You can understand Elizabeth's grief too. At some point I thought she was being a pain in the ass, just selfish. But honestly, at some point in her life she loved this man, and a child came out of it. Before, it was "he might be here, he might not, no problem." After his death, she knows he never will be, and the child will never meet their father. That's a different kind of pain and a different kind of grief.

Julia's grief is different again. This was her first love. They had just spent a weekend together at Joshua Tree, going on dates, kissing, having sex, doing all the sweet things. After that trip, he ghosted her, and she didn't know why. She only found out later that his ex was pregnant and he was confused, trying to figure out his own life. Ghosting hurts, and it's a stupid, bad thing to do. People should communicate, even minimally: "This is what's going on, and I'll reach out when I'm ready," instead of going completely silent. Look at what it cost. He died before he could speak to Julia, and now she feels guilty: What if I'd gone to the hotel when he called? Maybe he wouldn't have died. Maybe he'd have told me things that made the ghosting feel lighter.

Then there's his mother. She lost her only child, and since her marriage didn't work out, that child was the love of her life. Imagine what she's going through. They didn't say much about the father, though.

I really enjoyed this book for those three perspectives on grief. The storytelling was beautiful. Some details felt like they were dragging, but in the end everything built the story and gave me the context to understand what was happening. A really nice book. I loved it, and I think I gave it 4.8.

I also read this at the peak of my own heartbreak, it didn't make me sadder, it just calmed me down and I'm grateful for that.